plain english ASIA

Back in November 2009, we blogged about Ocean Park’s new website.

It appears someone took notice and, bless them, made our suggested corrections.

Here’s the original that we criticised:

Screenshot from November 2009

And as it appears today:

Ocean Park staffers – you’ve missed the point. Any idiot can make corrections as suggested by a language expert. However, huge chunks of text appearing in your press releases and general web copy is appalling. Let’s take one example:

Clear as mud

Here we have a 45 word sentence. It’s ungrammatical, it’s impersonal and fairly impenetrable. And it’s on a promotional flyer! The terms and conditions that accompany this offer are equally appalling. Read them here.

When will someone at OP wise up and hire a professional writer? Conserving nature and pandas is all well and good – what about their professional image?