I received a letter from Wing Hang Credit recently, with whom I have a mortgage. It took four people and considerable discussion to agree on what we thought the company was trying to say – including two who referred to the Chinese version and found it equally unhelpful
Archive for the ‘plain English’ Category
Extreme makeover: Sick of HR policies?
May 11th, 2010
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Recently spotted on a web page of an HR department:
A medical certificate from a registered medical practitioner/registered Chinese medicine practitioner/registered dentist specifying the period of sick leave as well as the nature of sickness or injury is required to support a sick leave application. As a concession, sick leave not exceeding two days may be granted [...]
House Passes Braley Plain Language Act
March 30th, 2010
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Bill Would Require Government to Write Tax Forms, Other Documents in Easy-to-Understand, Simple Language
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
March 18, 2010
Washington, DC – As part of Sunshine Week, the House today passed Rep. Bruce Braley’s (D-Iowa) Plain Language Act (HR 946), which will require the federal government to write documents, such as tax returns, federal college aid applications, [...]
Alan Siegel: Let’s simplify legal jargon!
March 26th, 2010
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Branding expert and one of the leading authorities on business communication, Alan Siegel, talked at TED in February on the topic of plain English.
Like us, he wants to put plain English into legal documents for government and business.
Starbucks: insincere, impersonal and disappointing?
March 26th, 2010
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I had cause to write to Starbucks recently. Not to complain; simply to ask a question. My question was about payment methods. In Hong Kong, in addition to the usual methods, some Starbucks outlets accept Octopus. Octopus is a brilliantly convenient common stored value card. Trouble is: some Starbucks outlets accept it; some don’t. I [...]
Do your vision/mission statements suck? Most do!
March 12th, 2010
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I recently was asked to teach a group of students to write a business plan.
While pulling together the material, I came across dozens of mission statements that suck.
For example, from Bank of China:
Our Vision is:
To be customer’s premier bank
Our Mission is to:
Build customer satisfaction and provide quality and professional service
Offer rewarding career opportunities and cultivate staff [...]
Juicy user manual from Mophie
February 9th, 2010
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It’s not often that I read user manuals. Most are beyond awful. So, imagine my suprise (and joy) when read the user manual for my new, sexy Mophie Juice Pack Air.
mophie juice pack air
Here’s an extract:
Here’s a rundown of why the juice pack air™ is so fantastic:
1. (Take a breath) Ergonomic, form-fitting, fully protective impact-resistant [...]
Ocean Park: Sentence construction (update)
January 28th, 2010
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Back in November 2009, we blogged about Ocean Park’s new website.
It appears someone took notice and, bless them, made our suggested corrections.
Here’s the original that we criticised:
And as it appears today:
Ocean Park staffers – you’ve missed the point. Any idiot can make corrections as suggested by a language expert. However, huge chunks of text appearing [...]
Sentence construction a major challenge for Ocean Park
November 9th, 2009
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While Ocean Park is in the midst of a huge redevelopment plan, we wonder how they can manage to construct three hotels when they have difficulty in constructing a basic sentence.
Take a look at this on Ocean Park’s website:
Strange that a corporation goes to so much trouble to design great looking graphics yet doesn’t even [...]
Writing Penalty for Transport Department
September 10th, 2009
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I challenge you to understand this letter in fewer than three attempts. Sorry; no joining the challenge if the procedure is already familiar.
When your information involves expiry dates dictating what individuals can and cannot do, careful planning is needed in order to answer the readers’ questions without straining their brains.
The least informed reader will be new, both to driving [...]
